Over the years that I've had this domain for Intentionally Lost, several imitation urls and social media profiles have popped up on the interwebs with similar name configurations. As precaution, I usually buy a few domains that are close in syntax to my primary site url. LostIntentionally.com was one of those. Monique figured out that I owned the domain matching the title of her newly published book and emailed to ask if I wouldn't mind selling it to her.
"What's this now? Writing a book and seeing it through to publishing is no minor task. Here's someone serious about their endeavor," I thought to myself. So I picked up a copy of Lost Intentionally; took far too long reading it, and then told Monique I'd be happy to hand over the domain for her to use in exchange for a conversation about her experience. She graciously agreed to this interview about her experience writing the book and the life changes that led up to and followed it.
When I initially set up Intentionally Lost website and social profiles it was just a fun sounding name for my travel and photography experiences. When traveling and hanging out with friends in my twenties and thirties I would often wander off on my own to see things that I figured would only be of interest to me. When the friends found me again they would joke that they lost Kevin, and even that I had gotten lost on purpose. The concept stuck and I decided to own this persona. If you read much of anything on this website you'll see that going to unexpected and sometimes even uncomfortable places is how I prefer to travel. Leave the tourist traps for everybody else; I want experiences that are unusual, non-ordinary, to see places that make you go, "Hmmm, now that's interesting." It's not that I necessarily seek out those experiences, but by being open to them my curiosity usually leads me to them, or maybe the universe brings them to me. I like to think it's both and solo travel can be a great catalyst for personal exploration.
Life has taken a turn and made me a family man at present. I couldn't be happier with the blessings of having my own family and the time I get to spend with them; especially during the years kids are growing up. This development does leave me with less flexibility to explore unusual destinations and experiences. Kids aren't quite on the adventurous track with me yet and wife prefers beach and cocktail vacations for the most part with limited predictable adventure mixed in. So how have I been scratching that itch for exploration?
During my own growing up years, religion played a major part in establishing the ontological and philosophical views I would carry into adulthood. My dad taught at the school that was run by the church my family attended. So I was at church every time the doors were open; and often had the run of the place when the buildings were empty too. When parenthood brought me opportunities to have conversations about spiritual things with my own kids, I just pulled out the old faithful Bible stories.
An internal battle rose up immediately. I was bothered by my own lack of true understanding about why or whether I actually believed those things. I was just assenting to a proposition that my own parents had been convinced of and passed on to me. But how did I know it to be true? That was in 2019, and for the past five years I've been on my own exploration of deconstruction, understanding many religions and their origins, understanding spirituality and how it differs from religion, and coming to my own practices based on personal experience of the Divine. My ability to travel to new locations may be limited, but there was a whole universe of ideas I had never explored with an open mind. The frontier of internal exploration and journeys was now open to me.
Reading Lost Intentionally put me in that mindset again. The mindset that asks whether the physical and spiritual trappings of my life are purposeful or simply there because of inertia. What kind of life do I really want to be living?
Monique is very vulnerable in her book, taking us on a journey from disillusionment to a peace with stepping into the unknown on a path she was hopeful could be nourishing to the soul. Pressures of professional life were causing anxiety and sleeplessness. When she spent time in nature, practicing yoga, meditation, and grounding; both literally and with spiritual practice, the anxiety, pains and insomnia melted away. Your own practices may be different. They may be the same. What needs to change in your life to have inner and outer peace? Only you know.
I'll leave you with just a few quotes from the book that I think give you the essence of her journey.
My new mantra became "Let it go." I became aware of how to stay grounded for myself and for others. I had a new awareness of when I was off balance and the tools to get back on track. Normally, this meant spending time barefoot in the forest in stillness, grounding with the earth and connecting with its healing energy. Being present with source energy and connection created more flow of spirit through me; it allowed me to feel more peaceful and hear my own wisdom and intutition more clearly.
Who was I without my career, home, daughter at home, or even a partner? I felt further stripped bare, vulnerable, and insecure while completely venturing into the unknown, unstructured world. I realized I had no idea what I wanted for myself. Until that time, my decisions had always been wrapped in someone else's needs - whether it was my family, my partner, or my colleagues.
"The way out is in." This teaching struck a chord with me as I reflected on my own history of restlessness and dissatisfaction, often focusing on what was missing rather than embracing what was present in my life.
"Come some day without any invitation.
Just like a bird comes and sits on the tree branch in my yard, or like a squirrel pops up with a nut on a side wall.
Like a swing of breeze comes in through the window,
When you come, do not press the bell at the entrance door, do not call beforehand and ask for time.
Bring some 'time' with you. Then we will join your time and my time.
Maybe make a swing and just sit on it together and swing and swing.
When you go back, leave a part of you behind, and take some of me with you,
So that you will have a reason to come back, and I will have a reason to come too.
What separates those pursuing location independence and spiritual fullness from the rest of us? This isn't from the book, it's just my own observation. I say it's Permission. Sometimes it does have to come from the people in our life, but mostly it has to come from ourselves. You're not ready to leave your lifestyle, home, family, job, and obligations behind to live an untethered life? Most of us are not. There is a lot we can do to realize more groundedness, spaciousness, connectedness, and joy in our everyday. We have only to give ourselves permission to do so.
After the permission, it helps to have someone to guide and keep us accountable. If you read the book and feel there's something in Monique's experience for you, visit FlourishWithMonique.com and reach out to her about forest therapy, Reiki, or one to one coaching. There's nothing like learning from someone who has learned from walking the hard path and is still learning.
Will your next journey be external, internal, or both?
Leave a Comment